The Whys and Wherefores of Choices

There's always something that's being hotly debated on the various sources of media. Recently, I've seen a spike in the debate about modesty, specifically, modesty for women. I don't really have anything to say that hasn't already been said but I still feel the need to express my opinion. This isn't going to be highly controversial (as far as I can tell but you never know how people will react), just the explanation for my personal choice.

Some background: So as stated in my previous letter, I believe in God. I also believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I believe in prophets and in the real-life guidance of the Holy Spirit. As such, I believe in the continuance of revelation to both men called of God and to more ordinary, everyday people. I believe in following prophets and I also believe that I can receive a knowledge and witness of principles and teachings for myself through the fervent application of prayer (what I will hereafter refer to as "personal revelation").

I believe that Christ walked the earth and established His church, giving power and authority to His disciples. I believe that over time, this power and authority was lost and that many plain and precious truths were lost as well. I believe that Joseph Smith, Jr. of Palmyra, New York was a true prophet of God who was called to restore Christ's church. I believe that that church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is the true church. I believe that the prophets of this church are men given inspiration directly from God to lead and guide His children.

In summary, I am LDS, also known erroneously as a "Mormon". I am not LDS because I have been raised in the church (which I have) or because I've been brainwashed or don't know any better or any sort of nonsense like that. My upbringing has certainly influenced my decision to be LDS but I know plenty of people who were raised LDS but who have chosen other religions and ways of life. No, I'm LDS because I was given the opportunity to learn about the church and its (or rather, Christ's) teachings and decide for myself if it was true.

And guess what? I believe that it is! (Big shock, I know)

Because I believe that this church is entirely true, that means I don't get to pick and choose which pieces of doctrine I'd like to believe in and live based on which ones I like best. I mean, I could, but what's the point of believing that something's true if you don't live it? You might as well just not believe it for all the good it's doing you.

Here's where issues like modesty come in. The prophets (that I believe in, remember?) have set certain standards for dress and grooming. Now people don't seem to take offense very often about the standards set for the men on this subject. It seems pretty reasonable to ask them to be "neat and clean" in their day-to-day appearance and "dress with dignity when officiating in the [sacred] ordinance of the sacrament", at least to me. And there are standards that are shared for men and women regarding avoiding clothing that is "tight, sheer, or revealing in any other matter". (For the Strength of Youth pages 7&8)

What is highly debated, however, are the standards set forth for the women of the church. These are more specific: "[Women] should avoid short shorts and short skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low cut in the front or back" (For the Strength of Youth page 7). So more complex, right? Generally speaking, so is a woman's wardrobe.

There are various reasons and explanations given for the specifics of why these are the standards instead of....well, instead of other standards.

Proponents of these standards give the explanation that dressing in this way helps men to control their thoughts. I believe that this is true. It does (or can) make it easier.

Opponents say that men should be responsible for controlling their own thoughts. This is also true.

It is my personal choice, however, to help the men around me. I expect them to do their part and take responsibility for themselves but I have decided that in order to support them in their efforts, I will dress modestly. That's my decision.

Proponents say that by dressing modestly, women show respect for their bodies and have a greater sense of self worth. I believe that this is true.

Opponents say that telling a woman that she must cover her body in order to be respectful and valued makes her body into something taboo. This can and does happen.

I respect my body and I believe that clothing it modestly is a good way for me to show that respect. I value my body and I don't want strangers (or even people I know well for that matter) to get an eyeful when they look at me. Not because I am ashamed of or dislike my body but because my body is precious and I will choose who gets that gift. The fact that the only person who will will be my husband is the result of other standards that I have chosen to live.

These are just some of the reasons that I have chosen to dress modestly. What it comes down to, however, is that the prophets have said that these are the standards that God has given them and us. I believe in God, I believe in the prophets, so therefore, I believe in the standards that are a part of the doctrine of this church.

This doesn't mean that I follow blindly. I have thought and prayed about these and many other subjects and my answer is that these are the standards that I am to live if I am to please God. That is enough for me. Part of believing in God is, for me, believing that He is my Father and that He loves me. I love Him so I want to honor His wishes.

So that is the true reason that I dress modestly. I love my Heavenly Father and I believe that these are His expectations for me so that is what I am going to live up to.

I may not completely understand the exact whys of every detail involved (for example, sleeves: I don't think that the sight of my bare shoulder is going to make the men around me turn to lust and there are some REALLY cute dresses that are sleeveless or one-shouldered) but that doesn't matter to me. I know enough. I can't answer every question about why this or that is required but not something else and I probably wouldn't do very well in a debate but I know that God knows why. Just because He doesn't tell me everything doesn't mean I'm not going to do as He asks. He's the one with the master plan for my, yours, everyone's eternal happiness, while I'm down here stumbling around trying to figure out what I'm doing. I think I'll trust Him over my own limited view.

So there you have it. My explanation for my choice about this and other points of doctrine. It's pretty much the same process in every case: Learn the standards. Think about what I've learned. Pray. Make my decision in accordance with God's will. It's pretty simple, really. Someday, I'll find out the whys and wherefores of everything and it'll all make sense. Not in this world, however, so for now, I'm content to do my best to live up to God's expectations. It is and always will be my decision and this is what I choose, take it how you will.