For "My Girls"

This post is directed to some of the people I miss most from back home.

To my girls:

Know that you are beautiful. I didn't know it for a long time. I didn't know until I came to college. It's not that I felt that I was ugly, I just never thought that I was beautiful. I had times when I felt beautiful but it wasn't consistent. You are beautiful all the time. Learn this now, or rather, start to learn this now. It takes awhile to figure out that you ARE beautiful, so start learning that now.

People can tell you that you are beautiful and that can make you feel beautiful, but you need to know for yourself, have an understanding of your own beauty. Being beautiful doesn't mean that you're better looking than anyone else or that you're vain, but it means that you have enough self-worth to recognize your value. Sure there are days that are better than others for your skin or hair, days when your makeup (if you wear it) turns out well or you feel fit or fashionable or whatever. Knowing that you're beautiful isn't that though.

Knowing that you're beautiful recognizes that you are beyond price and of infinite potential. Being beautiful means that you value yourself the way you should and that you value others too. Knowing that you're beautiful means that you know your worth and you don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Beauty has its physical aspect, of course. But whoever tries to tell you that beauty is solely physical doesn't understand it at all. I'm not talking about "sweet spirits" or "inner beauty" that trumps physical appearance, I'm talking about the kind of beauty that comes from a confident woman, young or old, who knows that she is of great worth and who is living up to her potential.

Makeup and things like that are inconsequential to beauty. You can use it or not as it suits you. That's your own decision and a possible topic for another letter.

Knowing that you are beautiful has its own power. It can help you to make better choices because you know that poor choices aren't worthy of you. You have greater respect for yourself and as such, have greater respect for others. You are better able to lift others and bring sunshine to their lives. You are able to see the beauty in people and things around you. You are less susceptible to the kind of thoughts and messages that bring you down. You are able to see things in their true light and because you can, you are comfortable with who you are.

Everyone can use improvements in some area of their lives (Myself included. I definitely do) but knowing that you are beautiful can give you the ability to see your faults without beating yourself up. You are able to make constructive changes and better yourself without making yourself feel bad. You're less likely to be negative towards others as well. Generally, when you know you're beautiful, you are happier, more productive, and have a better outlook on life and towards other people.

After you know you're beautiful, you'll still have your hard days. You'll still have your bad days, your sad days, your guilty days, your negative days, your days when you feel like the world is a dark, grey place. This isn't a magic cure-all. But you'll have less of them. The days inbetween will be brighter. You'll be more sure of yourself.

Sometimes, you have to rely on someone else for a while to know that you're beautiful. Sometimes, it takes them telling you over and over, again and again that you are beautiful, you are gorgeous, you are beyond beautiful. Most times, if you're like me at least, you won't believe them. You'll think that they're just being nice, or that just because they see you that way doesn't mean that you actually are. But who sees you better than the people who love you? Who is better able to see your beauty than those who care about you?

Coming to believe that you are beautiful takes time. It isn't easy to let go of all of your preconceived ideas about yourself. But it can be done. It should be done.

Don't forget that this applies to guys as well. Guys are beautiful too. Not in a feminine way, but they have their own brand of beauty. I'm not talking "cuteness" or "hotness". Ickgh. (I'm not a fan of the term "hot" but that's a separate topic.) But guys need to be told about their kind of beauty just like girls do. They might not be quite as flattered to be told that they're beautiful, but they do need to be reminded of their worth. So say something nice. Maybe something as simple as "You're a great friend" (careful with this one; can lead to friend-zone complications if used improperly)  or "Thanks for _____" or "I really appreciate _____". Just make it something sincere.

If you have days when you don't feel beautiful, come talk to me. Or someone whose opinion you respect  and will listen to. Listen as in internalize, not listen as in let the sound pass through your ears. I know that you are beautiful. I know that you are precious. I know that you are a gorgeous creature of absolute magnificence with the potential to become even more. I know that each of you, each and every one of you, no exceptions (so if you're reading this and think this doesn't apply to you, think again, it does) are beautiful. Get that? You Are Beautiful. I'm going to keep telling you until you believe it and guess what? After that too because I know it's so and that you also might need a reminder every now and again.

I wish I could be home right now. There are so many things that I've learned this past almost-year that I want to share with you! I'd learn a lot from you too. I miss you guys. But I'll be home again soon enough :) In the meantime, keep going, keep smiling, and know that you're beautiful.

Lots of Love,
Elicia

I Am Not A Blogger

I am not a blogger. Bloggers are people that are outgoing, usually extroverts, who have passions, opinions, or ideas that they want to share with the world. Bloggers are people who don't mind interacting with large groups of complete strangers, who just can't wait to share news with lots of other people or who at least don't mind turning themselves over to the general public for inspection. Bloggers are people who are willing to let other people look at their lives.

I am not very outgoing, an introvert until you get to know me, and I prefer to talk to people that I already have a connection to. I enjoy getting to know people, but it takes awhile for them to get to know me. I don't mind sharing my opinions but I don't usually bring them up. I'm reserved and like to keep my news for myself and the people I'm close to. I don't like having my life examined and I don't like being the center of attention.* So therefore, I am not a blogger.

"But wait", you might say, "isn't this a blog"? Well, sort of. This will not be a place for me to post intimate details about my life (that's what a journal is for) or a replacement for a journal (I already have one) or a way to share my favorite things or what I've been up to. This will be more like a series of letters. There are a lot of people I'd like to be able to really stay in contact with (Facebook doesn't count. It's too impersonal. Something posted to 300+ people is not my idea of personal communication.) but writing long email/letters to all of them isn't practical. But I still want to communicate with them. Anyone is welcome to read these letters. Some of them will have more specific audiences but they'll still be readable.

These letters will be my opinions, beliefs, thoughts, and theories. (As any letter/blog should be) They will be heavily influenced by my upbringing, religion, and experiences. Aren't everyone's? I ask that if you choose to read these letters (and it will be YOUR choice if you do so) that you read them with an open mind and with respect. You don't have to agree with me about everything or even anything but I ask for respect as I exercise my Constitutional right to freedom of expression. I respect your right to that same freedom. If you have thoughts or questions, feel free to comment. However, there are some rules.

No vulgarity of any kind will be permitted on these pages. If a comment is disrespectful or is a source of contention instead of thoughtful discussion, I will delete it. I may answer questions but I am not an all-knowing being and may occasionally make mistakes or feel that the best answer may come from another source. If that is the case, I ask for your understanding and cooperation. All of my posts will be MY opinions, NOT doctrine or absolutes. But please, enjoy! I hope that these letters will be thought-provoking and perhaps even enlightening upon occasion. There will also be humor and smiles, possibly even laughter. :)

If you're reading this and you know me, Hi! These are primarily for you. I wish I could talk to everyone individually but time and distance don't allow that. This is my solution. I hope you like them. :)

And so begins my "letter" writing. Enjoy!

-Elicia


*Don't get me wrong. We need those kind of people in the world. It would be a very boring place if everyone was just like me. It's just that that isn't me. I'm the other half of the balance.