The Whys and Wherefores of Choices

There's always something that's being hotly debated on the various sources of media. Recently, I've seen a spike in the debate about modesty, specifically, modesty for women. I don't really have anything to say that hasn't already been said but I still feel the need to express my opinion. This isn't going to be highly controversial (as far as I can tell but you never know how people will react), just the explanation for my personal choice.

Some background: So as stated in my previous letter, I believe in God. I also believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. I believe in prophets and in the real-life guidance of the Holy Spirit. As such, I believe in the continuance of revelation to both men called of God and to more ordinary, everyday people. I believe in following prophets and I also believe that I can receive a knowledge and witness of principles and teachings for myself through the fervent application of prayer (what I will hereafter refer to as "personal revelation").

I believe that Christ walked the earth and established His church, giving power and authority to His disciples. I believe that over time, this power and authority was lost and that many plain and precious truths were lost as well. I believe that Joseph Smith, Jr. of Palmyra, New York was a true prophet of God who was called to restore Christ's church. I believe that that church, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, is the true church. I believe that the prophets of this church are men given inspiration directly from God to lead and guide His children.

In summary, I am LDS, also known erroneously as a "Mormon". I am not LDS because I have been raised in the church (which I have) or because I've been brainwashed or don't know any better or any sort of nonsense like that. My upbringing has certainly influenced my decision to be LDS but I know plenty of people who were raised LDS but who have chosen other religions and ways of life. No, I'm LDS because I was given the opportunity to learn about the church and its (or rather, Christ's) teachings and decide for myself if it was true.

And guess what? I believe that it is! (Big shock, I know)

Because I believe that this church is entirely true, that means I don't get to pick and choose which pieces of doctrine I'd like to believe in and live based on which ones I like best. I mean, I could, but what's the point of believing that something's true if you don't live it? You might as well just not believe it for all the good it's doing you.

Here's where issues like modesty come in. The prophets (that I believe in, remember?) have set certain standards for dress and grooming. Now people don't seem to take offense very often about the standards set for the men on this subject. It seems pretty reasonable to ask them to be "neat and clean" in their day-to-day appearance and "dress with dignity when officiating in the [sacred] ordinance of the sacrament", at least to me. And there are standards that are shared for men and women regarding avoiding clothing that is "tight, sheer, or revealing in any other matter". (For the Strength of Youth pages 7&8)

What is highly debated, however, are the standards set forth for the women of the church. These are more specific: "[Women] should avoid short shorts and short skirts, shirts that do not cover the stomach, and clothing that does not cover the shoulders or is low cut in the front or back" (For the Strength of Youth page 7). So more complex, right? Generally speaking, so is a woman's wardrobe.

There are various reasons and explanations given for the specifics of why these are the standards instead of....well, instead of other standards.

Proponents of these standards give the explanation that dressing in this way helps men to control their thoughts. I believe that this is true. It does (or can) make it easier.

Opponents say that men should be responsible for controlling their own thoughts. This is also true.

It is my personal choice, however, to help the men around me. I expect them to do their part and take responsibility for themselves but I have decided that in order to support them in their efforts, I will dress modestly. That's my decision.

Proponents say that by dressing modestly, women show respect for their bodies and have a greater sense of self worth. I believe that this is true.

Opponents say that telling a woman that she must cover her body in order to be respectful and valued makes her body into something taboo. This can and does happen.

I respect my body and I believe that clothing it modestly is a good way for me to show that respect. I value my body and I don't want strangers (or even people I know well for that matter) to get an eyeful when they look at me. Not because I am ashamed of or dislike my body but because my body is precious and I will choose who gets that gift. The fact that the only person who will will be my husband is the result of other standards that I have chosen to live.

These are just some of the reasons that I have chosen to dress modestly. What it comes down to, however, is that the prophets have said that these are the standards that God has given them and us. I believe in God, I believe in the prophets, so therefore, I believe in the standards that are a part of the doctrine of this church.

This doesn't mean that I follow blindly. I have thought and prayed about these and many other subjects and my answer is that these are the standards that I am to live if I am to please God. That is enough for me. Part of believing in God is, for me, believing that He is my Father and that He loves me. I love Him so I want to honor His wishes.

So that is the true reason that I dress modestly. I love my Heavenly Father and I believe that these are His expectations for me so that is what I am going to live up to.

I may not completely understand the exact whys of every detail involved (for example, sleeves: I don't think that the sight of my bare shoulder is going to make the men around me turn to lust and there are some REALLY cute dresses that are sleeveless or one-shouldered) but that doesn't matter to me. I know enough. I can't answer every question about why this or that is required but not something else and I probably wouldn't do very well in a debate but I know that God knows why. Just because He doesn't tell me everything doesn't mean I'm not going to do as He asks. He's the one with the master plan for my, yours, everyone's eternal happiness, while I'm down here stumbling around trying to figure out what I'm doing. I think I'll trust Him over my own limited view.

So there you have it. My explanation for my choice about this and other points of doctrine. It's pretty much the same process in every case: Learn the standards. Think about what I've learned. Pray. Make my decision in accordance with God's will. It's pretty simple, really. Someday, I'll find out the whys and wherefores of everything and it'll all make sense. Not in this world, however, so for now, I'm content to do my best to live up to God's expectations. It is and always will be my decision and this is what I choose, take it how you will.

You'll Never Walk Alone

I'd like to start off by saying that I have been greatly blessed. Immeasurably so. But that doesn't mean that life is easy for me.

It's especially not easy when you're 600 miles away from home, moved out of the ward you got comfortable in, and someone for whom the process of making new friends takes time. It's hard for someone like me (read: reserved and introverted) to be in a place where none of the people that I rely on are nearby.

But there's one thing I've always taken comfort in and tonight is no different. I take comfort in the fact that as abandoned as I may feel sometimes, I am never truly alone. There is always someone there to comfort and strengthen me. That someone is God.

I believe in God. I believe in a loving God who is the Father of my spirit and who has my eternal happiness in mind. I believe in a God of mercy who, even when I do not deserve it, deigns to give me comfort and support. I believe in a God that honors His promises, who just as I must have faith in Him, has faith in me. I believe in a God who knows me better than I know myself, who knows not just what I want, but what I need. I believe in a God of tender, loving guidance who also is a God of agency and choice and who allows me to make my own decisions, even when it pains Him to watch me struggle. I believe in a God of order, a God of benevolence, kindness, knowledge, justice, courage, wisdom and whose ultimate and perfect design is for my happiness.

In short, I believe in God in a very personal way. He is, after all, my heavenly Father. As such, I know that in the times when it feels that there is no one there for me, He is there. He's only a prayer away.

People may not believe and people may mock but I don't just believe in God, I KNOW that He is there. I KNOW that He loves me. I KNOW that He love each and every one of His children. I KNOW that He is there for me, to bring me comfort and to give me strength. I have felt His influence in my life.

I don't believe in God or know that He exists solely because of outside influences like parents or religion. They have definitely had an enormous impact on me, but I have prayed and I have received a witness of my own of the truth of His existence. It's not very eloquent, but it is sincere. I know that God lives and that He speaks to men today. He has not abandoned us, nor will He ever do so. He lives.

And that is why I will never walk alone. He will always be there, guiding me, helping me, and picking me up when I stumble and fall because of my own weaknesses.

He is there for you as well. He does not make mistakes. Whatever you are going through, He will be there to make sure that you reach the other side intact. Our Father will never abandon us, never betray us. He is there. When you feel alone, pray. Pour out your heart to Him and He will fill it with the healing balm of His love. God lives and He loves us. I know this to be true. You will never have to walk alone.

The song that inspired this post: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky8_CZ4Y5Sg

Happiness is a Choice

I am a firm believer that happiness is a choice. It isn't the things or events or even the people in our lives that "make" us happy. All of these certainly have influence, but in the end, we decide whether or not to be happy. We make that choice.

"We shouldn't wait to be happy until we reach some future point, only to discover that happiness was already available—all the time! Life is not meant to be appreciated only in retrospect....no matter our circumstances, no matter our challenges or trials, there is something in each day to embrace and cherish. There is something in each day that can bring gratitude and joy if only we will see and appreciate it....Let us resolve to be happy, regardless of our circumstances."-Dieter F Uchtdorf

I love this quote. It's so true! Life is hard but would you rather go through life and be happy each day or would you rather wait around for the right set of circumstances? It's all too easy to think "If only _______ would happen, then I'd be happy" or "I'll be happy when _______" but I can pretty much guarantee that when whatever it is finally happen, it's not going to all be roses and sunshine. There will be something then that you don't like. And in the meantime, you've wasted all that time when you could have been happy. So choose to be happy now.

"But I can't be happy because _______"

Uh huh. Nonsense. There's always something to be happy about. Start small. Maybe even as small as "I'm alive", "I have sight", "I live on a beautiful Earth", anything even remotely positive. Build from that.

Having a bad day at school? You have a chance to learn, to receive an education. That's more than others get.

Having a hard time with parents? Chances are they're trying to help and/or protect you. Disagree with their methods, but appreciate that.

Friends giving you trouble? Remember that there's a world full of people out there. The odds are pretty good that at least one of them would make a good friend. Go find them.

Struggling to make ends meet? Think of the financial skills you're learning! People pay money for those kinds of lessons and you're getting them for free!

Sometimes it's a stretch. Sometimes it's really a stretch. But there is ALWAYS something to be happy about if you look hard enough.

Don't feel like looking? Well, you obviously have the mental capacity to decide that. That's something worth being happy about in my opinion. Being happy is inescapable, really.

Notice something else? Being happy is tied to being grateful. When you're grateful, you're happy. When you're ungrateful, you're unhappy. Being grateful can come naturally but a lot of the time it takes a conscious effort. So make it! It's part of choosing to be happy.

Choosing to be happy doesn't mean you won't be sad or upset or hurt or angry. You still feel all those emotions. It's part of being human after all. But if you choose to be happy, you have a peace that's always there. You can be sad but you know that it won't last forever. You can be hurt but you know that things will get better.

Choose to be happy. It makes you....happy. Surprise!

Choose. It's your decision, your responsibility. So what will your choice be? Are you going to be happy?